Good taglines for dating profiles

by  |  26-Jun-2018 05:58

Damn boy u must be my GPA because I know I could do better I’m just too lazy to actually try Feed me pizza and tell me I’m pretty and the odds of butt stuff is def in your favor Daddy issues and a low self esteem, holla! But if a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she’s called a slut, and people think this is unfair… To be a stud you have to be witty, charming, be well-dressed, have nice shoes, and a fake job. There are fat ugly sluts out there, there are not fat ugly studs. I think that’s all you need to know I’ll make you dessert, if you don’t like it, there is always me ;)The only reason I want a boyfriend is so that when I’m singing Fergilicious and it’s at the part where she says “I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness he’s my witness” I can point to him and he’ll do the little ” woo OOH” part because right now I have to do both parts by myself and it’s stressful because right after the woo OOH part I have to get right back into rapping and the transition is harder than you think Tessticles (haha that’s Tinder gold! Mirror selfies, rig shots and roid monkeys need not apply. I look like a kid, if you are into that kinda thing. A kiss makes my whole day, but anal makes my hole weak I’m grown up but not grown, grown. If I’m interested, I’ll place my underpants on the table. Return them washed, and we will consummate passionately. A plus if you wear my mom’s perfume and fit perfectly in the void she left.

Nah, it’s completely fair, and I’ll tell you why, alright? Dating black girls is really a plus because you don’t have to worry about meeting their fathers. I’m outdoorsy in the sense that I like to get drunk on patios. I just want a guy to buy me flowers, send me a million cute texts an call me mine, I’ll make you food so wife me up. Just be John Cusack outside my window with a boombox. After going out for four years you decide to propose. My nickname is Gillette because I’m the best a man can get. I hate playing head games unless they involve the mouth. Which means I know how to ride a di** but I’m still not sure how taxes work. I work at subway so I’m pretty much an expert on 6 inches and I make some damn good sandwiches.

Earlier today, I was looking through a few online dating profiles and the following irritating phrase came up several times: “I’m a lil like marmite – you either love me or hate me.” Ah, ok, so you’re not a “lil like marmite” because you’re thick, pasty and smell like shit?

Why include such an inappropriate and over-used slogan in your profile?

I can be a handful, topped with sarcasm and sprinkles of bullshit. I know men only think with their penises, but I’m not afraid to blow your mind. I have an AMD graphics card, so you can say I’m used to things getting hot quickly. Team Leader / Party Starter (also see: bacon enthusiast, beard grower, semi-professional high fiver)I’m 6’3″ and will put you on my shoulders at concerts.

Our relationship should be like Nintendo 64–classic, fun to spend hours with, and every issue easily fixed by blowing on it then shoving it back in. I’m not good at taking off bras so don’t worry, I won’t ask you for casual sex.

I’ve learnt that men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny… Gag reflex as absent as my father figure I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him if he’s going to eat the rest of that pizza. Mainly because you love me but also because I believe in no sex before marriage and curiosity is killing you. Looking for a man to cum inside me so I can wipe my goopy vagina along the kitchen floor and pretend I am a slug.

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